My sons ruined my life…
And I am eternally grateful
I’ve been silent for a while (a lifetime?)… Leaving “Dr. Noonan” to embrace “Tiffanie” has been quite a process and I’ll share more, but today we are going to celebrate the demise of my previous “so called” life.
Part of me has been fighting my opening up and diving into my passion. That part has been winning.
I have rationalized why I’ve been too busy to do what I love. And, I made myself busy to prove it
Really, I’ve just been afraid.
Although the focus of my weekly newsletter is on conscious, peaceful parenting, today I’m launching my weekly newsletter by opening up to you about me.
Stick around, you might just get an “a-ha” that relates to your own life AND your parenting…
Back to the topic of how my son’s ruined my life…
Have you ever met a woman who puts everyone first? I mean, really – EVERYONE (not just job, kids, etc. but like the perceived needs of the salesperson at the store would outweigh her own wants)…
Are you one of those women?
I know I was. We can discuss the unconscious reasons another day (lack of self-worth & self-love, perceived significance).
As you can imagine, having two babies in 16 months did NOT immediately change that reality. Hell, now I had two people whose lives depended on me for basic survival, PLUS my patients whose lives depended on me for accurate diagnosis/treatment, and my husband whose life depended on me (um, because I was delusional – not because it really did… sorry Brian!)
So, my babies got the majority of my mind-share, my patients got the majority of my time, and my husband kinda got the shaft. I felt guilty all the time…
-guilty my kids were in daycare
-guilty I wasn’t finding my career as fulfilling as I thought I “should”
-guilty for yelling at the end of the day
I don’t think I’m alone in living this cycle of guilt – I’ve met a lot of you moms in my years of practice and I’ve seen so many of you silently struggling with the same thing. I’ve joked about it, because then you would know I could relate BUT in a way that was safe and didn’t have to be real.
So, that was my life. Very successful appearing on the outside but missing that “spark”/that “something more” that I always knew was out there but was never brave enough to look for. Hell, my life was kind of missing Tiffanie… I did nothing for YEARS that was about ME!
Still wondering how my boys ruined that life?…
The concepts of conscious, peaceful parenting are very natural to me. Although I was not living a conscious life AT ALL, I had an innate knowing of how I wanted to relate to my children. I knew what I wanted for my boys. I am not talking about what career I wanted them to have, how much money they have, who they marry, etc… (Those are their decisions to make someday).
I am talking about the deeper stuff.
I want my children to know their worth (without having to prove it). I want them to experience true joy. I want them to live a life following their passion – whatever that is. I want them to know it is okay to “course correct” at any point in their lives if they choose. I want them to feel heard. I want them to know it is okay to cry, to laugh, to get angry – to feel. I want them to know that they are responsible for everything in their life (good and bad). I want my two little men to know their power. I want them to love and feel loved.
Hmmm… this was my dilemma…
I knew that my boys were at an age where habits and patterns are being set. Their little brains are growing and setting up pathways that can affect how they see the world in the future.
WANTING that type of life for my boys wasn’t going to do anything.
If I hope that for them, the best I can do is MODEL that type of life for them.
I am not responsible for their choices, but I can create an environment that honors who they are. I can’t teach them to love themselves and follow their passion if I don’t love myself and follow my passion.
Today they are 7 and 8 years old – they don’t always listen to what I say, but they do act like I do…
I couldn’t continue to play small and ignore my own inner voice if I had any hope of my children owning their own power.
With that realization, I realized that I needed to create something new!
My safe, predictable, stable life was ruined by two boys who teach me every day how to laugh, love, and play. It is a much better life! I thought I was doing it because “they” deserved it, but now I can say that I deserve to follow my passions and treat myself well
Almost 5 years ago I started this journey. I chose to delve into the aspects of my career that I LOVE (parenting). I then started to work on owning my own power, putting ME on the list of important people deserving of time, and become a true model of conscious living for my children.
Oh, it has been a process, I assure you! Nearly every day I find myself reacting to things out of habit, but I’m getting better at recognizing and staying present.
My work as a parenting coach is designed to not only help families establish peace and connection but also to help change the way our society views children.
I believe that one family at a time we can change the world.
Today, I am profoundly grateful – to the people who ruined my “so called” life and helped my find the strength and honesty that I needed to create a different life.
I honor you all – my boys, Brian Keith Noonan, and all of my coaches/mentors over the past five years.
My days of playing small are over.